Who Am I?

Finding an image that represents part of your personality is a harder task than you think.  I thought my search would only take about fifteen minutes, when actually it took me about forty minutes. Finally, however, after countless Google Image searches of “different”, “being unique”, and finally “standing out in a crowd”, I found this image. This image exemplifies how I see myself in comparison to the world.

Ever since I can remember, my mother and father drilled into my head the words “Be yourself”. But who am I? For several years up until high school, I had no idea what the answer to that question was. So instead, starting in about the fifth grade, I tried to become everyone else. I figured if I acted out traits of other people that everyone else seemed to like I would become some sort of super-human with an innumerable amount of friends and love interests. When reminiscing, I realize that I was actually pretty good at mimicking the way other people acted, sort of like a chameleon. However, acting like so many different people and caring about the opinions of everyone had an exhausting effect on me. In about the eighth grade, I realized I had lost sight of where I ended and another person began. I didn’t even know what my favorite color was anymore. That summer, I separated myself from all my “friends” and did some true soul searching. For what must have been hours I walked around my backyard asking myself “Do you really like this?” or “Are you really like this?” and I would look deep into myself and come up with either a yes or a no. By the time school started again, I had a rough idea of who I was as a person and was ready to have a fresh start at “being myself”.

The confusing experience of not having any identity at all has helped me to realize that I am my own person, independent from everyone else. Like the yellow tulip in the picture, I am different; I have my own likes and dislikes and my own unique personality that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Although sometimes my beliefs and my goals may outcast me from the sea of red tulips, I would rather be totally different than become just another red flower that has no chance of gaining any notice.

When I first began my online search I only had a vague idea of what I was searching for, so after a few general searches I had a more solid image in mind. The flower image was perfect for what I wanted to express about myself. The yellow contrasts starkly with the red flowers, which was the kind of contrast I was looking for. If I could change something about the image, however, it would be the lighting – I would maybe go for some dramatic shading. Other than that, the Internet didn’t let me down with this image.

In this video for the New Zealand Book Council, the pages of the book come alive and take the viewer through a dark tour of the author’s novel. This video represents the bookworm part of my identity. Ever since before I learned how to read, books have played a huge role in my life as a form of sanctuary for when times are grim. In fact, the sentence I most repeated when I was little was “Tell me a story.”

When I read a book, my mind shuts out the world around me and focuses solely on the story at hand. Like the video, I’m taken on a journey where outside worries have no hold on me and nothing matters except what the character does and how they feel. When I’m engrossed in a story, I become the character in the book and their actions become my own. Through books I have traveled the world and met all kinds of different people and coped with all sorts of situations. When I open a book the words on the pages cease to be just words but become a new adventure just waiting to suck me in. In the beginning of the video, the viewer can still see the words on the page that form the different shapes in the story, but after a while the words seem to disappear and we are truly in the world of the book, this is what happens to me when I read.

This video also represents my choice of a major here at the University of Florida as well my hopes of a career in the future. English has always motivated me and been my best subject in school, so I hope to earn my bachelor’s degree in English and go on to become a book editor or publisher and help create books like the one in the video. There will be a lot of difficult times ahead, but I’m confident I’ll do well because I love what I’m studying. This video shows that words are magical. They can make your heart race, stir hatred, bring tears to your eyes or make you fall in love. The video itself creates a tingle of fear or unease. Through books a reader forges an invisible bond with the people who made the book and caused such a rush of emotions. I want to be a part of that bond.

This video was not exactly what I had in mind when I searched for videos about books. My search brought up many literature lectures or people commenting on their opinions about certain books. What I had in mind was maybe perhaps a cartoon about why books are so great but such a video didn’t come up. I even searched the term “bookworm” but got nothing that I could identify with. Finally I selected this video from the recommended videos section on YouTube based on what I had previously searched. The first time I watched the video I didn’t really feel a connection but upon watching it a couple more times and further analyzing it, I realized that this video was perfect. The one thing I would change about it would be to make the reader’s voice a little more clear. However all in all this video accurately portrays a huge part of my personality.

Works Cited:

1. Stand Out In A Crowd. “ComputerWeekly.com”. http://www.computerweekly.com/galleries/237273-5/Stand-out-in-a-crowd-Ten-top-tips-for-getting-an-IT-job.htm

2. NewZealandBookCouncil. “YouTube.com”.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgQEBbOQdB4

Word Count: 1058


6 Responses to “Who Am I?”

  1. I like both your picture and your video discussions. Your analysis was clear and easy to understand. I feel that you went more in depth with the video on the blog, but during your presentation you focused more on the picture. I thought that was a good balance. Eventhough the picture is simple, you described its meaning very well. I can’t really find anything bad that I would change at all! I wish I could love reading as much as you do, but I guess my sister got those genes! 😀

  2. Hey, I think it’s a very good thing that you were able to figure out who you really are regardless of what other people may think, I have seen people try to change just to try to fit in and it usually doesn’t work out for them. Unfortunately when I played the video it wasn’t working correctly and the images were hard to make out. From what I could tell though it seemed like the pages were really coming alive, which relates well to your description of how you approach reading. I also have to agree with your comment about the voice being hard to understand, without the video working clearly for me it was very noticeable.

  3. marinahass Says:

    Hi Bianca,
    Can I cite your essay in an article I’m writing about this assignment?

    • Hi Marina, Yes of course, I’d be honored. How are you by the way? teaching any classes in the Fall or Spring?

      Regards, Bianca

  4. marinahass Says:

    Thanks, I will cite you in the examples I’ll use 🙂 I’m doing well. Trying to finish my dissertation and apply to jobs and postdocs for next year. How are you?
    I got a grant to teach a course I designed in the Spring. It will be cross-listed with the European Studies department & the English department. It’s a new course that I named Youth in European Cinema, and it should be fun to teach! (It’s EUS 4390 I believe, not sure about the ENG listing yt, but I can let you know when it’s announced, if you are interested).

  5. Hey Bianca,
    I forgot to let you know earlier and I couldn’t find your email. If you haven’t registered for all your classes yet, I’m teaching a new course ENG 4133/ EUS4930, youth in european cinema. I think there are a couple of spots left.

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